“We do as we have been done by.”― John Bowlby Have you ever noticed yourself repeating certain patterns of behaviour in your romantic relationships? Perhaps you wonder why you always attract the same kind of person, or why you often end up in the same negative cycle when you fight with your partner. Many of these behaviours evolve from your attachment style, a way of relating to others … [Read more...]
Stop the Social Comparison and Feel Better Without Therapy
Social comparison is one of the most insidious and destructive games we can play, and nearly always leads to a decrease in mood. It is the practice of looking at the lives of others from the outside, via social media, TV, or within our social circles, and assuming those people either have it easier or have more than we do. Ironically, where one person may seem to have abundance you can assume … [Read more...]
What to Do When You Can’t Change the Outcome
Have you ever felt powerless? As though you are no longer in the driving seat and not really sure if you ever were? No need to answer; it's part of the human condition. We like to be in control—to know that the small plot of land we are in charge of, namely our own lives, are ours to groom, pull out weeds and plant seeds as we wish. But our neat little gardens rarely stay well manicured—before … [Read more...]
Why Self-Love is a Necessary Part of Loving Others
"Your problem is you’re too busy holding onto your unworthiness.”- Ram Dass If you had asked me a decade ago whether I loved myself the question would have baffled me. Self-love? What does that even mean? Does anyone really love themselves? And if they do, isn't that the bedrock of egoism and navel gazing? It wouldn't have taken me long to give you an answer; that is, if I was feeling … [Read more...]
How to do Busy Well
The art of busyness has become a competition and doing busy well is an art. The idea that "you can't possibly be as busy as I am," is continually implied in our daily conversations, as though the busiest people are somehow the most accomplished and successful. I'm tired of busy, aren't you? I'm tired that as a culture we are using it as an excuse to not show up, both for others and for … [Read more...]
21 Simple Self-Care Strategies For Daily Living
"Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths." – Etty Hillesum Self-care. Few people practice it, many overlook its importance. But one thing is clear: if we don't take care of our mental and physical needs we suffer. Self-care could also be referred to as self-love or self-compassion. Nowadays few of us consciously make … [Read more...]