Have you ever reacted to someone in the heat of the moment and afterwards looked back wishing you had responded differently? Do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by emotion and notice it affects your ability to focus or be present? Most of us find ourselves in these situations some of the time, but if this happens often to you, you may be having problems regulating (calming) your … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Feel Better Right Now Without Therapy: Part Two, Reframe Your Perspective
"Feel the feelings, drop the story." Pema Chodron. Studies show we have between 60,000 and 90,000 thoughts per day. That's a lot, and if they all contributed towards making ourselves into the best human we can possibly be, happiness would seem far less elusive. Unfortunately many of those thoughts are repeated multiple times throughout the day. Some of them may be checklists of things we don't … [Read more...]
What to Do When You Can’t Change the Outcome
Have you ever felt powerless? As though you are no longer in the driving seat and not really sure if you ever were? No need to answer; it's part of the human condition. We like to be in control—to know that the small plot of land we are in charge of, namely our own lives, are ours to groom, pull out weeds and plant seeds as we wish. But our neat little gardens rarely stay well manicured—before … [Read more...]
The Work of Grief: Making it Through the First Few Months
"If, as a culture, we don’t bear witness to grief, the burden of loss is placed entirely upon the bereaved, while the rest of us avert our eyes and wait for those in mourning to stop being sad, to let go, to move on, to cheer up. And if they don’t — if they have loved too deeply, if they do wake each morning thinking, I cannot continue to live — well, then we pathologize their pain; we call their … [Read more...]
Why Facing Your Biggest Fear Will Be Your Greatest Breakthrough
When my ex-husband and I separated a few years ago my biggest fear was loneliness. Push me out of a plane (parachute attached of course); dangle me from a 2,000 ft tall building (knock me out first), but please God don't let me be alone. It seems God is messing with me though, because here I am, facing my worst fear, the one I've spent a lifetime avoiding. Don't we always eventually come … [Read more...]
10 Ways To Ease Depression With Only Your Pen
"Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." — Leonard Cohen. One of my struggles since childhood has been with depression. From as early as I can remember I wondered why my school friends found it so easy to just be a kid, while I could only seem to observe their laughter from the fringes, surrounded by … [Read more...]