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Need a New Perspective on Holiday Stress?

December 21, 2017

For decades we’ve been told this one thing: stress makes you sick.

How many times, when you’ve been knee-deep in tension, anxiety and all-around exhaustion, have you made it all worse by then adding the thought that if you don’t get a hold of yourself you may wind up in your doctor’s office, or worse still, the hospital?

The possibility of making ourselves “stress sick” is really the last thing we need to think about when rushing to meet a work deadline, or braving the mall parking lot just to find that one gift we forgot on our holiday shopping list. The holidays are a lot for anyone and holiday stress is a real thing.

But the big ‘S’, according to the experts, is the enemy we must avoid at all costs, or at least make respectable efforts to reduce. But who has time for that? Surely such efforts would only serve to add to our stress levels?

Let’s test the theory…

Imagine, for a moment, that you are stuck in a backlog of traffic with many other frustrated Christmas shoppers at the mall. You’ve been waiting for a parking spot for half an hour now, slowly following a dozen other cars as you weave in and out of the isles, hoping and praying that a parked car right in front of you will magically spring to life. It doesn’t happen. You feel your chest tighten, your hands clench around the wheel, and you begin to wonder if Aunt Jemima really needs another gift basket of floral teas anyway (didn’t you buy her that same gift last year?) It’s right about now that you may start telling yourself to CALM DOWN. You can almost feel your immune system cowering under the glare of its arch enemy, Stress, and you begin to panic at the thought that perhaps this year, Christmas really will kill you. Soon, it’s not the mall parking lot that is the cause of your anxiety but rather what your anxiety about your anxiety might do to you.

Complicated, huh? Our minds can get that way. But there is good news my friend…

Mind Games

According to researcher Kelly McGonigal, a Health Psychologist from the US, it’s not stress that’s the bad guy in our efforts to stay healthy, but rather what we think about our stress.

After years of telling her patients that stress will make them sick, McGonigal came across some research that blew the lid off her advice. The mind is a powerful machine and doctors are becoming increasingly aware of its impact on health. If we tell ourselves that something will make us sick and we invest our power of thinking into that belief system, it is quite likely that we will indeed make ourselves sick. This theory is not unlike the placebo effect, in which we may tell ourselves that the medicine we take is making us feel better, when in fact we may be taking no more than a sugar pill.

McGonigal’s talk is refreshing and quite honestly a welcome respite from the pressure we put on ourselves to reduce the stress in our lives. Personally I find the prospect of changing my thought patterns far more achievable than reducing the actual stress in my life, which in this season would be a challenge.

I invite you to watch McGonigal’s talk, which also discusses some of the benefits of stress (who knew?) And whether you breeze through this holiday season, or wade through it with gritted teeth, may you remember that holiday stress itself won’t kill you, but the way you think about it just might.

Want to connect? Please reach out and contact me.

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Filed Under: Anxiety, CBT, Self-care, Stress Tagged With: anxiety, Christmas, Kelly McGonigal, placebo, stress, thoughts

About Claire De Boer

Claire is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Writer in South Surrey, BC. She works with individuals and couples from an attachment-based and trauma-informed perspective.

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1. Feeling nervous, anxious, or on edge.

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2. Not being able to stop or control worrying.

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Depression Quiz

1. Sadness

I do not feel sad.

I feel sad much of the time.

I am sad all the time.

I am so sad or unhappy that I can't stand it.

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2. Pessimism

I am not discouraged about my future.

I feel more discouraged about my future than I used to.

I do not expect things to work out for me.

I feel my future is hopeless and will only get worse.

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3. Past Failure

I do not feel like a failure.

I have failed more than I should have.

As I look back, I see a lot of failures.

I feel I am a total failure as a person.

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4. Loss of Pleasure

I get as much pleasure as I ever did from the things I enjoy.

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I can't get any pleasure from the things I used to enjoy.

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5. Guilty Feelings

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I feel guilty over many things I have done or should have done.

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6. Punishment Feelings

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7. Self-Dislike

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I have lost confidence in myself.

I am disappointed in myself.

I dislike myself.

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8. Self-Criticalness

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I criticize myself for all of my faults.

I blame myself for everything bad that happens.

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9. Suicidal Thoughts or Wishes

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I would like to kill myself.

I would kill myself if I had the chance.

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10. Crying

I don't cry anymore than I used to.

I cry more than I used to.

I cry over every little thing.

I feel like crying, but I can't.

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11. Agitation

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12. Loss of Interest

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I have lost most of my interest in other people or things.

It's hard to get interested in anything.

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13. Indecisiveness

I make decisions about as well as ever.

I find it more difficult to make decisions than usual.

I have much greater difficulty in making decisions than I used to.

I have trouble making any decisions.

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14. Worthlessness

I do not feel I am worthless.

I don't consider myself as worthwhile and useful as I used to.

I feel more worthless as compared to others.

I feel utterly worthless.

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15. Loss of Energy

I have as much energy as ever.

I have less energy than I used to have.

I don't have enough energy to do very much.

I don't have enough energy to do anything.

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16. Changes in Sleeping Pattern

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I sleep a lot more than usual.

I sleep a lot less than usual.

I sleep most of the day.

I wake up 1-2 hours early and can't get back to sleep.

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17. Irritability

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I am more irritable than usual.

I am much more irritable than usual.

I am irritable all the time.

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18. Changes in Appetite

I have not experienced any change in my appetite.

My appetite is somewhat less than usual.

My appetite is somewhat greater than usual.

My appetite is much less than before.

My appetite is much greater than usual.

I have no appetite at all.

I crave food all the time.

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19. Concentration Difficulty

I can concentrate as well as ever.

I can't concentrate as well as usual.

It's hard to keep my mind on anything for very long.

I find I can't concentrate on anything.

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20. Tiredness or Fatigue

I am no more tired or fatigued than usual.

I get more tired or fatigued more easily than usual.

I am too tired or fatigued to do a lot of the things I used to do.

I am too tired or fatigued to do most of the things I used to do.

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21. Loss of Interest in Sex

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I am less interested in sex than I used to be.

I am much less interested in sex now.

I have lost interest in sex completely.

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