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Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS): The Therapy Everyone is Talking About

March 4, 2023

Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) is a relatively new and innovative form of therapy, developed by psychotherapist Richard Schwartz, that has been gaining increasing popularity in recent years. This approach to therapy helps individuals to understand and resolve the inner conflicts and traumas that exist within their mind, soul, and body.

What is Internal Family Systems Therapy?

There are two core beliefs or concepts underlying Internal Family Systems Therapy. The first is that the mind is multifaceted and has many “parts” which can be in conflict with one another. These adaptive parts are thought to have developed as a means of protecting the individual from harm or stress, but over time, they can cause inner conflict, leading to feelings of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

The idea of having multiple parts to the mind can be a difficult concept for clients who are new to IFS to understand. Some confuse it with having multiple personalities, however we talk in parts language all the time but likely never notice it. Take these examples:

– “Part of me wants to go out for dinner tonight because I miss seeing my friends, but another part of me wants to stay home and just relax.”

– There’s this part of me that really wants to write a book, but another part of me that is afraid of failure.”

– “Every time I consider moving to the coast I feel excited, but then another part of me feels sad and knows that I will miss the city.”

It is in exploring these parts that we come to know our complexities and understand why we can experience such polarized opinions and emotions within our one mind.

The second key concept of IFS is that at the core of every individual is a Self that is loving, compassionate, wise, kind, creative and much more. You may notice this core Self being present when you are enjoying time with a loved one, pursuing something creative and feeling in a state of flow; when you are in nature; or when you are simply enjoying the present moment and neither looking to the past or the future. The core Self is always available to us, however we spend a lot of time living from our parts and allowing them to take over our whole system, rather than living in the truth of who we really are. IFS helps clients to become Self-led rather than led by their parts.

What Does a Typical IFS Therapy Session Look Like?

IFS is an inter-relational therapy that looks at the relationship between the closely connected parts of the mind. With the help of a trained therapist, Individuals develop relationship between their Self and their parts, coming to understand when and why their parts were formed, and the role those parts now play in the individual’s system.

As they come to learn more about their parts, clients will discover that some of their parts have assumed a managerial role, some a more reactive role, and some parts are wounded, or “burdened.” The parts that carry deep wounds or traumas were often formed in childhood and need to be healed, but they can only be healed through relationship to Self.

During an IFS therapy session, the therapist and client work together to identify the different parts that exist within the individual’s mind. The therapist may also use visualization and mindfulness techniques to help the individual access and understand their inner world. The client will not be invited to do anything more in a session than to explore whatever parts may be coming up for them and to get to know the role they are playing in the system. A part may make itself known in the form of an image, an emotion, thoughts, or often, a combination of all of these.

What Makes IFS Therapy Work So Well?

One of the key truths that makes IFS work so well is the accessibility of the Core Self. The Self has always been there in all of us. However, imagine that it has been like the sun high above the dark clouds on a rainy day: always there but hidden by the clouds. Once we accept our core self as our essence—the person we are without our trauma, conditioning and adaptive ways of coping— we can begin to allow that authentic self to be in the driver’s seat of our life. From there, we are able to view life and our circumstances through the lens of a loving compassionate self, rather than the lens of a protective, reactive part.

We can look at IFS as a more layered and intricate form of inner child work, which may be a more familiar concept for some.

If you are interested in exploring IFS therapy, contact us to book a session or consultation.

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Filed Under: Self-care, Therapy Tagged With: anxiety, claire de boer, Core Self, counselling, depression, IFS, inner conflict, Internal Family Systems Therapy, Richard Schwartz, safe haven counselling, self-compassion

About Claire De Boer

Claire is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Writer in South Surrey, BC. She works with individuals and couples from an attachment-based and trauma-informed perspective.

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Anxiety Quiz

1. Feeling nervous, anxious, or on edge.

Not at all sure

Several days

Over half the days

Nearly every day

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2. Not being able to stop or control worrying.

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Several days

Over half the days

Nearly every day

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3. Worrying too much about different things.

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Several days

Over half the days

Nearly every day

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4. Trouble relaxing

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Several days

Over half the days

Nearly every day

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5. Being so restless that it’s hard to sit still

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Several days

Over half the days

Nearly every day

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6. Becoming easily annoyed or irritable.

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Several days

Over half the days

Nearly every day

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7. Feeling afraid as if something awful might happen.

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Several days

Over half the days

Nearly every day

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Depression Quiz

1. Sadness

I do not feel sad.

I feel sad much of the time.

I am sad all the time.

I am so sad or unhappy that I can't stand it.

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2. Pessimism

I am not discouraged about my future.

I feel more discouraged about my future than I used to.

I do not expect things to work out for me.

I feel my future is hopeless and will only get worse.

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3. Past Failure

I do not feel like a failure.

I have failed more than I should have.

As I look back, I see a lot of failures.

I feel I am a total failure as a person.

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4. Loss of Pleasure

I get as much pleasure as I ever did from the things I enjoy.

I don't enjoy things as much as I used to.

I get very little pleasure from the things I used to enjoy.

I can't get any pleasure from the things I used to enjoy.

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5. Guilty Feelings

I don't feel particularly guilty.

I feel guilty over many things I have done or should have done.

I feel quite guilty most of the time.

I feel guilty all of the time.

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6. Punishment Feelings

I don't feel I am being punished.

I feel I may be punished.

I expect to be punished.

I feel I am being punished.

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7. Self-Dislike

I feel the same about myself as ever.

I have lost confidence in myself.

I am disappointed in myself.

I dislike myself.

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8. Self-Criticalness

I don't criticize or blame myself more than usual.

I am more critical of myself than I used to be.

I criticize myself for all of my faults.

I blame myself for everything bad that happens.

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9. Suicidal Thoughts or Wishes

I don't have any thoughts of killing myself.

I have thoughts of killing myself, but I would not carry them out.

I would like to kill myself.

I would kill myself if I had the chance.

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10. Crying

I don't cry anymore than I used to.

I cry more than I used to.

I cry over every little thing.

I feel like crying, but I can't.

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11. Agitation

I am no more restless or wound up than usual.

I feel more restless or wound up than usual.

I am so restless or agitated, it's hard to stay still.

I am so restless or agitated that I have to keep moving or doing something.

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12. Loss of Interest

I have not lost interest in other people or activities.

I am less interested in other people or things than before.

I have lost most of my interest in other people or things.

It's hard to get interested in anything.

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13. Indecisiveness

I make decisions about as well as ever.

I find it more difficult to make decisions than usual.

I have much greater difficulty in making decisions than I used to.

I have trouble making any decisions.

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14. Worthlessness

I do not feel I am worthless.

I don't consider myself as worthwhile and useful as I used to.

I feel more worthless as compared to others.

I feel utterly worthless.

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15. Loss of Energy

I have as much energy as ever.

I have less energy than I used to have.

I don't have enough energy to do very much.

I don't have enough energy to do anything.

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16. Changes in Sleeping Pattern

I have not experienced any change in my sleeping.

I sleep somewhat more than usual.

I sleep somewhat less than usual.

I sleep a lot more than usual.

I sleep a lot less than usual.

I sleep most of the day.

I wake up 1-2 hours early and can't get back to sleep.

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17. Irritability

I am not more irritable than usual.

I am more irritable than usual.

I am much more irritable than usual.

I am irritable all the time.

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18. Changes in Appetite

I have not experienced any change in my appetite.

My appetite is somewhat less than usual.

My appetite is somewhat greater than usual.

My appetite is much less than before.

My appetite is much greater than usual.

I have no appetite at all.

I crave food all the time.

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19. Concentration Difficulty

I can concentrate as well as ever.

I can't concentrate as well as usual.

It's hard to keep my mind on anything for very long.

I find I can't concentrate on anything.

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20. Tiredness or Fatigue

I am no more tired or fatigued than usual.

I get more tired or fatigued more easily than usual.

I am too tired or fatigued to do a lot of the things I used to do.

I am too tired or fatigued to do most of the things I used to do.

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21. Loss of Interest in Sex

I have not noticed any recent change in my interest in sex.

I am less interested in sex than I used to be.

I am much less interested in sex now.

I have lost interest in sex completely.

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