Social comparison is one of the most insidious and destructive games we can play, and nearly always leads to a decrease in mood. It is the practice of looking at the lives of others from the outside, via social media, TV, or within our social circles, and assuming those people either have it easier or have more than we do. Ironically, where one person may seem to have abundance you can assume … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Feel Better Right Now Without Therapy: Part Two, Reframe Your Perspective
"Feel the feelings, drop the story." Pema Chodron. Studies show we have between 60,000 and 90,000 thoughts per day. That's a lot, and if they all contributed towards making ourselves into the best human we can possibly be, happiness would seem far less elusive. Unfortunately many of those thoughts are repeated multiple times throughout the day. Some of them may be checklists of things we don't … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Feel Better Right Now Without Therapy: Part One, Cultivate Awareness
I'm a therapist, so believe me when I say that therapy is good and helpful and a lifeline for many people. If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be in the field. However, therapy is not always accessible. Community services out there are growing, but unfortunately we have a long way to go before mental healthcare is available to all Canadians in the same way as physical healthcare. Thankfully, … [Read more...]
Why is Self-Kindness So Challenging?
Why do we find it so hard to be kind to ourselves? What is it we're afraid of? We deprive ourselves when we make self-kindness the last thing on our agenda. And we deprive the ones we love of the best we have to offer them. Because how we love ourselves is how we love others. What is self-kindness? Self-kindness is looking in the mirror and finding something we like today rather than hacking … [Read more...]
Why Self-Love is a Necessary Part of Loving Others
"Your problem is you’re too busy holding onto your unworthiness.”- Ram Dass If you had asked me a decade ago whether I loved myself the question would have baffled me. Self-love? What does that even mean? Does anyone really love themselves? And if they do, isn't that the bedrock of egoism and navel gazing? It wouldn't have taken me long to give you an answer; that is, if I was feeling … [Read more...]
Why Facing Your Biggest Fear Will Be Your Greatest Breakthrough
When my ex-husband and I separated a few years ago my biggest fear was loneliness. Push me out of a plane (parachute attached of course); dangle me from a 2,000 ft tall building (knock me out first), but please God don't let me be alone. It seems God is messing with me though, because here I am, facing my worst fear, the one I've spent a lifetime avoiding. Don't we always eventually come … [Read more...]