Are you in your 40s or 50s and feeling empty and low for no apparent reason? If so, you may be in the throes of a midlife crisis. At times you may question whether this could be depression, however, what you are feeling is a normal shift in the aging process. Research tells us that midlife is the time when we are most likely to feel down. The Happiness U-Curve, taken from a collection of … [Read more...]
Stop the Social Comparison and Feel Better Without Therapy
Social comparison is one of the most insidious and destructive games we can play, and nearly always leads to a decrease in mood. It is the practice of looking at the lives of others from the outside, via social media, TV, or within our social circles, and assuming those people either have it easier or have more than we do. Ironically, where one person may seem to have abundance you can assume … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Feel Better Right Now Without Therapy: Part Two, Reframe Your Perspective
"Feel the feelings, drop the story." Pema Chodron. Studies show we have between 60,000 and 90,000 thoughts per day. That's a lot, and if they all contributed towards making ourselves into the best human we can possibly be, happiness would seem far less elusive. Unfortunately many of those thoughts are repeated multiple times throughout the day. Some of them may be checklists of things we don't … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Feel Better Right Now Without Therapy: Part One, Cultivate Awareness
I'm a therapist, so believe me when I say that therapy is good and helpful and a lifeline for many people. If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be in the field. However, therapy is not always accessible. Community services out there are growing, but unfortunately we have a long way to go before mental healthcare is available to all Canadians in the same way as physical healthcare. Thankfully, … [Read more...]
Why Self-Love is a Necessary Part of Loving Others
"Your problem is you’re too busy holding onto your unworthiness.”- Ram Dass If you had asked me a decade ago whether I loved myself the question would have baffled me. Self-love? What does that even mean? Does anyone really love themselves? And if they do, isn't that the bedrock of egoism and navel gazing? It wouldn't have taken me long to give you an answer; that is, if I was feeling … [Read more...]
The Work of Grief: Making it Through the First Few Months
"If, as a culture, we don’t bear witness to grief, the burden of loss is placed entirely upon the bereaved, while the rest of us avert our eyes and wait for those in mourning to stop being sad, to let go, to move on, to cheer up. And if they don’t — if they have loved too deeply, if they do wake each morning thinking, I cannot continue to live — well, then we pathologize their pain; we call their … [Read more...]