Social comparison is one of the most insidious and destructive games we can play, and nearly always leads to a decrease in mood. It is the practice of looking at the lives of others from the outside, via social media, TV, or within our social circles, and assuming those people either have it easier or have more than we do. Ironically, where one person may seem to have abundance you can assume … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Feel Better Without Therapy: Part Three, Managing Emotions
Have you ever reacted to someone in the heat of the moment and afterwards looked back wishing you had responded differently? Do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by emotion and notice it affects your ability to focus or be present? Most of us find ourselves in these situations some of the time, but if this happens often to you, you may be having problems regulating (calming) your … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Feel Better Right Now Without Therapy: Part Two, Reframe Your Perspective
"Feel the feelings, drop the story." Pema Chodron. Studies show we have between 60,000 and 90,000 thoughts per day. That's a lot, and if they all contributed towards making ourselves into the best human we can possibly be, happiness would seem far less elusive. Unfortunately many of those thoughts are repeated multiple times throughout the day. Some of them may be checklists of things we don't … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Feel Better Right Now Without Therapy: Part One, Cultivate Awareness
I'm a therapist, so believe me when I say that therapy is good and helpful and a lifeline for many people. If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be in the field. However, therapy is not always accessible. Community services out there are growing, but unfortunately we have a long way to go before mental healthcare is available to all Canadians in the same way as physical healthcare. Thankfully, … [Read more...]
What to Do When You Can’t Change the Outcome
Have you ever felt powerless? As though you are no longer in the driving seat and not really sure if you ever were? No need to answer; it's part of the human condition. We like to be in control—to know that the small plot of land we are in charge of, namely our own lives, are ours to groom, pull out weeds and plant seeds as we wish. But our neat little gardens rarely stay well manicured—before … [Read more...]
Why is Self-Kindness So Challenging?
Why do we find it so hard to be kind to ourselves? What is it we're afraid of? We deprive ourselves when we make self-kindness the last thing on our agenda. And we deprive the ones we love of the best we have to offer them. Because how we love ourselves is how we love others. What is self-kindness? Self-kindness is looking in the mirror and finding something we like today rather than hacking … [Read more...]